Some people may view giving feedback as a “confrontation”.

Along with feedback in general, this term has many negative connotations which are not necessarily correct.

This misunderstanding leads many to feel uncomfortable and reluctant about giving feedback, even though it is crucial to the development and the engagement of your team.

What it really comes down to is that not many people feel comfortable pointing out someone else’s weaknesses to them.

To “confront” something has a few different meanings but in this context, only two are important (courtesy of the Oxford dictionary).

  • You can confront a problem or a challenge, which has a positive connotation. It means to overcome an obstacle that is holding you back.
  • But to confront a person means to come face to face with someone with hostile or argumentative intent.

When you give feedback you are identifying challenges an employee might have, which will ultimately help them to overcome them, but you are doing that by “confronting” them face to face.

You can see how easily the lines blur and why so many find giving feedback a hard endeavour.

We wrote a post not long ago that stressed the point that giving feedback should not be treated like a disciplinary, or in fact like a negative thing at all.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, the latter which they should not be penalised for. However, they need to be aware of them along with your expectations so that they have a chance to improve, with your support.

Remember that most people want to do a good job. They want to be successful and please their employers. As such most employees want feedback, as long as it is delivered in the right way.

The key is to approach the situation by focussing on the bigger picture, because in reality, this isn’t necessarily just about the individual as much as it is about making sure that the whole team is working to the best of its ability. In order for the whole team to succeed, everyone in it needs to focus on overcoming their own challenges.

By taking some onus away from the individual and putting the feedback in context to the bigger picture, it becomes less of a blame game and more or a game plan.

Here are five core tips:

  1. Ask for your own feedback – You want feedback to be viewed in the context of the “bigger picture”. This means joining in! By asking for feedback it makes it clear that this is not a finger-pointing session but a chance to think about positive things like improvement, overcoming challenges and working towards goals.
  2. It isn’t personal –Keep feedback strictly business by identifying specific behaviours instead of remarks on personality. You can’t ask someone to change who they are but you can ask someone to improve work related skills that might be tied to certain personality traits. For example, training managers to be more emotionally intelligent.
  3. Evidence – Bring examples of when an employee might have not performed to their best so that it is clear you are addressing specific work-related behaviours. You could follow this up by offering an example of when they performed well and ask what they think the difference is and what can be done going forward to help them always achieve this level of performance. It could be that something specific happened that caused the lower performance. This gives the employee a chance to tell their side of the story, think about what might affect their work performance as well as show them that they don’t always perform below your satisfaction. You want them to still feel valued.
  4. Actions – Pointing out issues will only get you half way. In reality, you are just saying, “you did this poorly.” That won’t make the employee feel good or motivated but instead, make them despondent, which is the exact opposite of what giving feedback is about. Take it a step further by suggesting solutions and asking them for their opinion, concluding the session with clear objectives that the employee can meet. This also gives you something to measure the improvement of their performance by for next time.
  5. Give them what they want – Employees want feedback. I mentioned this at the start of the post. By giving them feedback in this positive way you are really providing guidance rather than just pointing out faults and failures. View this whole process as giving your team the opportunity to be better at their roles and meet your expectations. What you think might be obvious probably is not to them and so by not addressing something you are in reality doing your team a disservice. If someone is not meeting your expectations your opinion, behaviour and attitude towards them will be effected whether you notice it or not.

Here are a few links to some useful resources that can help you further:

If you want to talk to us about how we can support you with appraisals, employee engagement, discipline and grievance and more, then give us a call for a chat on 01256 328 428.